How do you identify the main criteria to obtaining recognition as a ‘white van man’? Obviously you have to own a white van for starters, but even this may exclude you from joining this club. What follows is a list of experiences that to me would guarantee acceptance for anyone into the ‘special club’.
Complete disregard for other road users
Now, this is vitally important if you wish to become a member of this club. It cannot simply be a slight bending of the rules or a deliberate misinterpretation here or there. Total anarchy is necessary or nothing! For example, If you find yourself driving down a narrow road, you can’t elegantly drive past an oncoming vehicle. You would have to force the other car to stop to let you pass, or more suitable, run that person right off the road. If you can manage to do this without the slightest pang of guilt, then you are well on your way to earning your spurs.
Dominate your steet with your vehicle
Nowadays in most towns and cities the councils have woken up to the fact that lots of money can be made by forcing the population to pay for parking. So space in the street outside your house is now at a premium, and even with a permit does not guarantee you a slot near to your house. So where does our ‘white van man’ slot into all of this? Our man probably owns more than one or two cars and parks the van outside his house too, consuming more space than anyone else in the street. If it is possible that you can do this and not give a stuff about your neighbours, then you will pass with flying colours!
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